"I have to put it in my mouth... and chew on the ends." - March '05 to May '05
"Joe, that's definitely not an Abortion." -Spencer
"You do realize that you have four inches that I don't have." -Kat to me
"Pardon me..." -Mikey's roommate Pat while taking off his pants during a beerpong game
"She scares me. I can't fight her. It'd be better fighting a black woman. Every ethinicity knows you can't fight a black woman... (later) There's a reason why you can't fight black women: it's because black women aren't afraid to mess with the face." -Quynh
"If I had a dog, even my dog could solve this problem, right? He'd see you could just switch these two equations..." -Dr. Andrew, linear algebra
(while Bhuan is flipping through a Playboy)
"I... ah..." -George
"What are you saying?" -Spencer
"Um... what..."
"What are you saying?"
"Ah... those are some big (expletive)."
and
"Takeshi, come here and get educated!" -Spencer
"Ahhhhh..." -Takeshi
"I like to make hippies mad." -Justin
"I puked in the Canterbury cathedral, on the floor, in front of one of the pope... things... whatever. But it was so late in the afternoon nobody thought I was drunk, they thought I had like food poisoning or whatever." -Rebecca
"That's why I said it's a scam." -random guy
"But not a dishonest scam!" -Dr. Andrew
"...and I say that with a full and unblemished record of heterosexuality." -Cindy
"She really does a good job of handling the stick." -me complimenting Alana's driving
"Do you like the balls? I got two." -Helen
"Dammit, we're primates?!?" -Ben B.
"First plague: bloooood." -Simone
"This is the chocolate of our affliction."
and
"Now we are here; next year may we be eating chocolate in the land of Israel. Now we are slaves to chocolate; next year may we have willpower."
-from Cindy's "Chocolate Seder" manual
"I think I still really like my mom, because I sleep in the fetal position." -Helen
"Awesome, I'm gonna stuff this in my pants!" -Gina
Snow's texts:
the important part is i now have a wookie
Please tell adelaide the poached eggs were delicious
We have a joe (censored) sighting in dc. Am i authorized to use excessive force?
All together now: natural family planning!
Sean's texts:
Nothing like teaching hung over after graduating...
Brock says he loves you. I say you're a whore. same difference. cscott says borrow your balls back and come to la. jack is just getting started baby!
Chaperoning a dance. mmm... statutory
Douglas
Wang
Dude, in Allfntown and am aloost drunk
Erin's texts:
Ps... wankers!
Hi crowley! we miss you! please move here. ps i am sober in case you were wondering!
(Wolf whistle) "Write that down!" -Rebecca
"I don't care about the team, I care about personal glory!" -Lindsay
"I think I have shit-colored eyes." -Rebecca
"Marcus likes to poke me." -Lindsay
"Would you like to rephrase that?" -me
"He likes to do that to me."
"Care to try again?"
"I didn't mean that, you... dirty Irish guy!"
"As you may have already ascertained, or figured out... I said ass." -VaCo lead singer
"Hey, we've got a hammer!"
(pounding commences)
-some guy outside the office
"In fact, I think we have a Romulan in sector seven there... I was a Star Trek nerd in eighth grade but I grew out of it by eleventh grade, ok?" -Kvam
"You all know my motto for graduate school, which was 'Why do one thing carefully when you can do three or four things half-assed?'" -Kvam
snow: crowley, you don't need a siege engine
me: need isn't the question
Talking about wedding gifts:
"I don't feel like I have to put in money just 'cause they're trying to save up. I mean, that's what friends and family are for." -Spam
"What do they need money for? They've got each other." -Ben
me: i won't have you belittling my culture
gina: no insult intended, wetback
"I'd rather have the two girls all over me than just watch the two girls!" -Cindy
"That's true, I don't really like (nationality)s. They're like the Annoyings of the Hispanics." -Gina
"Rough guys grab. Nice guys stroke." -Cindy
kat: apparently despite knowing various perverts you're still a pure soul
"When I said layman's terms, I didn't mean that lame." -Doc
"I apologize, I've got an immature mind." -me
"What, big tube of caulk? ...Jerk." -Gina
"You do realize that you have four inches that I don't have." -Kat to me
"Pardon me..." -Mikey's roommate Pat while taking off his pants during a beerpong game
"She scares me. I can't fight her. It'd be better fighting a black woman. Every ethinicity knows you can't fight a black woman... (later) There's a reason why you can't fight black women: it's because black women aren't afraid to mess with the face." -Quynh
"If I had a dog, even my dog could solve this problem, right? He'd see you could just switch these two equations..." -Dr. Andrew, linear algebra
(while Bhuan is flipping through a Playboy)
"I... ah..." -George
"What are you saying?" -Spencer
"Um... what..."
"What are you saying?"
"Ah... those are some big (expletive)."
and
"Takeshi, come here and get educated!" -Spencer
"Ahhhhh..." -Takeshi
"I like to make hippies mad." -Justin
"I puked in the Canterbury cathedral, on the floor, in front of one of the pope... things... whatever. But it was so late in the afternoon nobody thought I was drunk, they thought I had like food poisoning or whatever." -Rebecca
"That's why I said it's a scam." -random guy
"But not a dishonest scam!" -Dr. Andrew
"...and I say that with a full and unblemished record of heterosexuality." -Cindy
"She really does a good job of handling the stick." -me complimenting Alana's driving
"Do you like the balls? I got two." -Helen
"Dammit, we're primates?!?" -Ben B.
"First plague: bloooood." -Simone
"This is the chocolate of our affliction."
and
"Now we are here; next year may we be eating chocolate in the land of Israel. Now we are slaves to chocolate; next year may we have willpower."
-from Cindy's "Chocolate Seder" manual
"I think I still really like my mom, because I sleep in the fetal position." -Helen
"Awesome, I'm gonna stuff this in my pants!" -Gina
Snow's texts:
the important part is i now have a wookie
Please tell adelaide the poached eggs were delicious
We have a joe (censored) sighting in dc. Am i authorized to use excessive force?
All together now: natural family planning!
Sean's texts:
Nothing like teaching hung over after graduating...
Brock says he loves you. I say you're a whore. same difference. cscott says borrow your balls back and come to la. jack is just getting started baby!
Chaperoning a dance. mmm... statutory
Douglas
Wang
Dude, in Allfntown and am aloost drunk
Erin's texts:
Ps... wankers!
Hi crowley! we miss you! please move here. ps i am sober in case you were wondering!
(Wolf whistle) "Write that down!" -Rebecca
"I don't care about the team, I care about personal glory!" -Lindsay
"I think I have shit-colored eyes." -Rebecca
"Marcus likes to poke me." -Lindsay
"Would you like to rephrase that?" -me
"He likes to do that to me."
"Care to try again?"
"I didn't mean that, you... dirty Irish guy!"
"As you may have already ascertained, or figured out... I said ass." -VaCo lead singer
"Hey, we've got a hammer!"
(pounding commences)
-some guy outside the office
"In fact, I think we have a Romulan in sector seven there... I was a Star Trek nerd in eighth grade but I grew out of it by eleventh grade, ok?" -Kvam
"You all know my motto for graduate school, which was 'Why do one thing carefully when you can do three or four things half-assed?'" -Kvam
snow: crowley, you don't need a siege engine
me: need isn't the question
Talking about wedding gifts:
"I don't feel like I have to put in money just 'cause they're trying to save up. I mean, that's what friends and family are for." -Spam
"What do they need money for? They've got each other." -Ben
me: i won't have you belittling my culture
gina: no insult intended, wetback
"I'd rather have the two girls all over me than just watch the two girls!" -Cindy
"That's true, I don't really like (nationality)s. They're like the Annoyings of the Hispanics." -Gina
"Rough guys grab. Nice guys stroke." -Cindy
kat: apparently despite knowing various perverts you're still a pure soul
"When I said layman's terms, I didn't mean that lame." -Doc
"I apologize, I've got an immature mind." -me
"What, big tube of caulk? ...Jerk." -Gina
posted by DCrowley at 8:40 PM
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