"You're a salt-monger." - January '06 - May '06
"I need some buffalo wings and then I'll drink your ass under the table... some buffalo wings." -Lindsay's brother
"He'll say whatever comes out of his mouth." -Lindsay
"Sweet piece of skeet-skeet!" -Lindsay's brother
kat: ohhhhhhh
kat: ohhhh it's good
kat: love it
kat: every time
While watching ND football highlights
A bit later:
kat: it's almost orgasmic
kat: no, not almost
"Putting you on the ground was necessary. Kicking you in the ass was fun." -Pirate
"Did you just lose your car for ten seconds?" -me
"No, I just lost me for a second. I knew where my car was the whole time." -Ryan
"Every time you punch him in the balls, it spills my beer!" -Guy at the next table to Gina (who was trying to hit Kestner)
"Kestner has one mode: hard and inaccurate." -Pirate
"Susan is a great waitress. Very..." -Ryan
"She's a real tease." -Adam
"FYI, I'm not having Bhuan's babies so he could stay in the country, end of story." -Gina
"That was all gooey and nasty... that was really gross." -Ryan to Gina
"What are you reaching down..." -Adam, trailing off
"Ok, are you ready? It's time for shaking like a Poloroid picture." -Waiter at Benihana
"So who's hung oooooover? Whoooo's hung oooover? Is Crowley hung over? Is he? Is he? I bet he iiiiiis! Sounded like he was well on his way yesterday, ha ha ha. Anyway bro, just giving you a call 'cause I figured you'd be hung over and it'd be funny. And if you're not hung over, bravo. Though chugging Guinness that late in the night, you've gotta be hurting." -Voicemail from Snow calling at 10am the morning after I passed quals.
"Hey Crowley, you better not be able to answer your phone because you're making out with the bartender from Limerick (who is female, so everyone's on the same page). Whoooo! Yeah, you know why? Because that's what f---ing PhD candidates do! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! You passed the motherf---ing qualifiers! Yeuh. Whoooo! Go Crowley go, go go Crowley go!..." -Voicemail from Booter the night I passed quals
"I love her laugh, it's such a Betty Rubble laugh... the Betty Rubble laugh of intimidation." -Susie K.
"See, you guys debate how airplanes do what they do. I debate the proper placement of a chair rail." -Gina
Text message from Sean, a high school physics teacher:
So I accidentally said the word schlong during class today
"No, I mean kick backwards, like if you squeeze down on its balls it'll kick you. You know what I'm talking about. You guys ever been to New Hampshire?" -Mark, talking about horses.
"See, this is why I could never be anorexic. I love food too much." -DianaT
Text message conversation with Pirate when I first skipped Limerick to study for quals:
Pirate: Told susan youre at the darkhorse
me: Tell her I've found a pretty brunette waitress named Erin who I plan on tipping extravagantly.
Pirate: Dont come back here (susan)
me: That's awesome. Damn quals.
Pirate: Our bill is 120, thankssss
me: So we finally had to pay for all those end-of-the-night shots. And by we, I mean "not me."
Pirate: Susan's sad, come say hi.
me: That's just plain underhanded.
Pirate: Yes, hurry over
Not long afterwards, Pirate dials my number and hands the phone to Susan (our regular waitress) so she can try to talk me into coming.
"For reference, I turn twenty-five this year and I feel old." -me
"F---ass. Bastard." -Kestner
"I can't cry for Bambi. Deer's too tasty." -Alex, during a quals study session
"Two years from now, Ben will be married, and his wife will be four months pregnant... and Mormon." -Ryan (March 31, 2006)
"Um, he will be Mormon, or his pregnant wife?" -me
"Both." -Jeff M. and Ryan, simultaneously
"If I were half the man Dan is, I'd be a butch-ass dyke." -Gina while on painkillers, after half a beer at Manuel's
Ryan's away message:
Q: What mixes well with tequila?
A: Me, motherf---er!
kat: no come back, I want to hold you
Passed on by Bhuan, about cat hair:
"Let me just rub myself on you until it gets off." -Marco to Ben
Trying to goad me into drinking another "last" beer at Limerick:
"I'm still ahead of you." -Kestner
"You're used to working hung-over." -me
"...yeah?"
"You just have to avoid banging the sister. That would be awkward." -Ryan, about Snow having both a wife and a sister named Erin.
"Oh God, strike down this lab and everyone in it." -Ben while thinking about his special topics paper
Snow's text messages on St. Patrick's Day:
Black 47 and guinness. giggity.
God bless the irish.... and pass the beer
We just saw the best. live. drinking. concert. ever.
ps erin says dont make out w- ashley
pps the empire st building is green
"Come, sit next to me. I'm a cocoon." -Kristin to Vanessa
"It's almost as if you're high or something, and you're seeing... M&M's." -Vanessa
"Erin, I guess I'm not Irish, I don't have a green bra. ...Erin has a green water bra! Erin, that makes you sound very... earthy." -Ashley
Referencing guys at Bulldog's, a local gay bar:
"You know all they do is work out and have sex with each other." -Jarrod
"I wish girls did that." -Steve T.
"Oh God, the carbonation got me. And it burned!" -Ashley
"He's cheating, he's cheating! Do you cheat in PhD school too?!" -Ashley
"What are you, European?" -Shuo
"Asian." -Sid
"You're subcontinental."
"My pants are still on, FYI." -Ashley
"Congratulations, you're watching porn!" -Phillip
"It's not porn!" -Gina
"It's cross-sectional porn." -me
"It's not porn, it's science!" -Gina
"If you see the safety on the left side of the gun, it can fire. Pow! If you see the safety on the right side of the gun, it can't fire. Pow! Whoops." -Referee/Instructor at the paintball field
"Laurel got shot in the mouth. She said it didn't taste very good." -Joe
"Was that Laurel I nailed in the ass?" -Bhuan
"You were the one who got your pants ripped off. I don't think you really get an opinion." -Ryan to Bhuan
"I've been creeped out by clowns for a while, so I may be biased." -me
"I am too, but I get to bite into this one's face." -Gina
At the dueling pianos bar:
"I like the guy we can't see." -me
"That's because he's not slapping his ass." -Diana
"I've decided to institute psychological warfare against Nick." -Ryan
"Why?" -me
"That's a very odd first question to ask. I would've gone with what instead of why. Uh... I don't really have an answer for that."
"Dude, is your cell phone ring just some guy yelling?" -me
"It's Redman. It's a good song." -Ryan (disputed)
"You're white. Let's go." -Ben
"You might as well put a blind retard in a round room and tell him to hit the corner." -Ehren
"They'd have to use what the British test pilots euphemistically called the Hawker Shallow Dive, which was full power straight down." -Skunk Works chief test pilot, speaking to GT AIAA
"Only my dog would pick the most phallic toy available." -Gina
"There's a big difference between women who were born on a farm and girls who look like livestock." -Jarrod
"Catholics can't read, I don't know if you know." -Marco
"Gotta sell your soul for something. Might as well be good Powerpoint." -Jarrod
"We can take passengers, because I truly don't like to see DD's on the road." -Diane
"So I kept beating this guy with my baton and he wouldn't die, which is what upset me." -Ryan, about a bad dream involving a guy stealing parts off his bike as he watched.
"Hey Crowley, what's going on? Oh my God, you are a total f---hole. Not you, Crowley, this jackass who just tried to cut around everyone in line. Yield! Goddamn these people are stupid. Where are you going?! What the hell, you're going to get around me! It's a merge! What the f---? Yeah, that's right, stay behind me! Oh shit, Crowley! Hey! Uh... so yeah, people can't drive. Sorry. Anyways, calling to see what's up, it's been a while, uh... sorry about the profanity. I'll catch you later. Bye." -Voicemail from Snow
"He's Da-an, Da-an,
You never know what
He'll write down next...
Da-an, Da-an
Giggity-giggity-giggity-giggity-out-of-context." -Ben
"Somewhere down the line, someone has to die because of something I've made." -Ryan
"Actually, I do have a spare copy of my pocket Constitution. Maybe if you're good you'll get one for Valentine's Day." -Diane
"You're a neutral observer." -Ryan
"I'm a belligerent observer who's gonna kneecap you when you come over for more logs." -Ehren
"Is bacon really a food? I don't think it is." -Ehren
"What else would it be?" -Bhuan
"...condiment?"
"Never use a public outhose in Alabama. The VD will rise up and punch you in the face." -Ryan
"I'm turning myself like a rotisserie." -Lindsay
"My toes are nice and toas... burning." -Bhuan
"Can you smack me really hard?" -Lindsay to Johann
"Now if that is second base, where would... never mind." -Diane
"I stop thinking when you talk." -Diane
erin: Gues what? Lots if not most of those companies (in my work profile) have offices in DC or Northern VA -- woo hoo . . . the Crowley machine is moving to DC
erin: ps jeff says wink wink nudge nudge get your hot ass up here
erin: ok, I added the hot part
erin: and let's get back to you screwing jeremy piven
"He'll say whatever comes out of his mouth." -Lindsay
"Sweet piece of skeet-skeet!" -Lindsay's brother
kat: ohhhhhhh
kat: ohhhh it's good
kat: love it
kat: every time
While watching ND football highlights
A bit later:
kat: it's almost orgasmic
kat: no, not almost
"Putting you on the ground was necessary. Kicking you in the ass was fun." -Pirate
"Did you just lose your car for ten seconds?" -me
"No, I just lost me for a second. I knew where my car was the whole time." -Ryan
"Every time you punch him in the balls, it spills my beer!" -Guy at the next table to Gina (who was trying to hit Kestner)
"Kestner has one mode: hard and inaccurate." -Pirate
"Susan is a great waitress. Very..." -Ryan
"She's a real tease." -Adam
"FYI, I'm not having Bhuan's babies so he could stay in the country, end of story." -Gina
"That was all gooey and nasty... that was really gross." -Ryan to Gina
"What are you reaching down..." -Adam, trailing off
"Ok, are you ready? It's time for shaking like a Poloroid picture." -Waiter at Benihana
"So who's hung oooooover? Whoooo's hung oooover? Is Crowley hung over? Is he? Is he? I bet he iiiiiis! Sounded like he was well on his way yesterday, ha ha ha. Anyway bro, just giving you a call 'cause I figured you'd be hung over and it'd be funny. And if you're not hung over, bravo. Though chugging Guinness that late in the night, you've gotta be hurting." -Voicemail from Snow calling at 10am the morning after I passed quals.
"Hey Crowley, you better not be able to answer your phone because you're making out with the bartender from Limerick (who is female, so everyone's on the same page). Whoooo! Yeah, you know why? Because that's what f---ing PhD candidates do! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! You passed the motherf---ing qualifiers! Yeuh. Whoooo! Go Crowley go, go go Crowley go!..." -Voicemail from Booter the night I passed quals
"I love her laugh, it's such a Betty Rubble laugh... the Betty Rubble laugh of intimidation." -Susie K.
"See, you guys debate how airplanes do what they do. I debate the proper placement of a chair rail." -Gina
Text message from Sean, a high school physics teacher:
So I accidentally said the word schlong during class today
"No, I mean kick backwards, like if you squeeze down on its balls it'll kick you. You know what I'm talking about. You guys ever been to New Hampshire?" -Mark, talking about horses.
"See, this is why I could never be anorexic. I love food too much." -DianaT
Text message conversation with Pirate when I first skipped Limerick to study for quals:
Pirate: Told susan youre at the darkhorse
me: Tell her I've found a pretty brunette waitress named Erin who I plan on tipping extravagantly.
Pirate: Dont come back here (susan)
me: That's awesome. Damn quals.
Pirate: Our bill is 120, thankssss
me: So we finally had to pay for all those end-of-the-night shots. And by we, I mean "not me."
Pirate: Susan's sad, come say hi.
me: That's just plain underhanded.
Pirate: Yes, hurry over
Not long afterwards, Pirate dials my number and hands the phone to Susan (our regular waitress) so she can try to talk me into coming.
"For reference, I turn twenty-five this year and I feel old." -me
"F---ass. Bastard." -Kestner
"I can't cry for Bambi. Deer's too tasty." -Alex, during a quals study session
"Two years from now, Ben will be married, and his wife will be four months pregnant... and Mormon." -Ryan (March 31, 2006)
"Um, he will be Mormon, or his pregnant wife?" -me
"Both." -Jeff M. and Ryan, simultaneously
"If I were half the man Dan is, I'd be a butch-ass dyke." -Gina while on painkillers, after half a beer at Manuel's
Ryan's away message:
Q: What mixes well with tequila?
A: Me, motherf---er!
kat: no come back, I want to hold you
Passed on by Bhuan, about cat hair:
"Let me just rub myself on you until it gets off." -Marco to Ben
Trying to goad me into drinking another "last" beer at Limerick:
"I'm still ahead of you." -Kestner
"You're used to working hung-over." -me
"...yeah?"
"You just have to avoid banging the sister. That would be awkward." -Ryan, about Snow having both a wife and a sister named Erin.
"Oh God, strike down this lab and everyone in it." -Ben while thinking about his special topics paper
Snow's text messages on St. Patrick's Day:
Black 47 and guinness. giggity.
God bless the irish.... and pass the beer
We just saw the best. live. drinking. concert. ever.
ps erin says dont make out w- ashley
pps the empire st building is green
"Come, sit next to me. I'm a cocoon." -Kristin to Vanessa
"It's almost as if you're high or something, and you're seeing... M&M's." -Vanessa
"Erin, I guess I'm not Irish, I don't have a green bra. ...Erin has a green water bra! Erin, that makes you sound very... earthy." -Ashley
Referencing guys at Bulldog's, a local gay bar:
"You know all they do is work out and have sex with each other." -Jarrod
"I wish girls did that." -Steve T.
"Oh God, the carbonation got me. And it burned!" -Ashley
"He's cheating, he's cheating! Do you cheat in PhD school too?!" -Ashley
"What are you, European?" -Shuo
"Asian." -Sid
"You're subcontinental."
"My pants are still on, FYI." -Ashley
"Congratulations, you're watching porn!" -Phillip
"It's not porn!" -Gina
"It's cross-sectional porn." -me
"It's not porn, it's science!" -Gina
"If you see the safety on the left side of the gun, it can fire. Pow! If you see the safety on the right side of the gun, it can't fire. Pow! Whoops." -Referee/Instructor at the paintball field
"Laurel got shot in the mouth. She said it didn't taste very good." -Joe
"Was that Laurel I nailed in the ass?" -Bhuan
"You were the one who got your pants ripped off. I don't think you really get an opinion." -Ryan to Bhuan
"I've been creeped out by clowns for a while, so I may be biased." -me
"I am too, but I get to bite into this one's face." -Gina
At the dueling pianos bar:
"I like the guy we can't see." -me
"That's because he's not slapping his ass." -Diana
"I've decided to institute psychological warfare against Nick." -Ryan
"Why?" -me
"That's a very odd first question to ask. I would've gone with what instead of why. Uh... I don't really have an answer for that."
"Dude, is your cell phone ring just some guy yelling?" -me
"It's Redman. It's a good song." -Ryan (disputed)
"You're white. Let's go." -Ben
"You might as well put a blind retard in a round room and tell him to hit the corner." -Ehren
"They'd have to use what the British test pilots euphemistically called the Hawker Shallow Dive, which was full power straight down." -Skunk Works chief test pilot, speaking to GT AIAA
"Only my dog would pick the most phallic toy available." -Gina
"There's a big difference between women who were born on a farm and girls who look like livestock." -Jarrod
"Catholics can't read, I don't know if you know." -Marco
"Gotta sell your soul for something. Might as well be good Powerpoint." -Jarrod
"We can take passengers, because I truly don't like to see DD's on the road." -Diane
"So I kept beating this guy with my baton and he wouldn't die, which is what upset me." -Ryan, about a bad dream involving a guy stealing parts off his bike as he watched.
"Hey Crowley, what's going on? Oh my God, you are a total f---hole. Not you, Crowley, this jackass who just tried to cut around everyone in line. Yield! Goddamn these people are stupid. Where are you going?! What the hell, you're going to get around me! It's a merge! What the f---? Yeah, that's right, stay behind me! Oh shit, Crowley! Hey! Uh... so yeah, people can't drive. Sorry. Anyways, calling to see what's up, it's been a while, uh... sorry about the profanity. I'll catch you later. Bye." -Voicemail from Snow
"He's Da-an, Da-an,
You never know what
He'll write down next...
Da-an, Da-an
Giggity-giggity-giggity-giggity-out-of-context." -Ben
"Somewhere down the line, someone has to die because of something I've made." -Ryan
"Actually, I do have a spare copy of my pocket Constitution. Maybe if you're good you'll get one for Valentine's Day." -Diane
"You're a neutral observer." -Ryan
"I'm a belligerent observer who's gonna kneecap you when you come over for more logs." -Ehren
"Is bacon really a food? I don't think it is." -Ehren
"What else would it be?" -Bhuan
"...condiment?"
"Never use a public outhose in Alabama. The VD will rise up and punch you in the face." -Ryan
"I'm turning myself like a rotisserie." -Lindsay
"My toes are nice and toas... burning." -Bhuan
"Can you smack me really hard?" -Lindsay to Johann
"Now if that is second base, where would... never mind." -Diane
"I stop thinking when you talk." -Diane
erin: Gues what? Lots if not most of those companies (in my work profile) have offices in DC or Northern VA -- woo hoo . . . the Crowley machine is moving to DC
erin: ps jeff says wink wink nudge nudge get your hot ass up here
erin: ok, I added the hot part
erin: and let's get back to you screwing jeremy piven
posted by DCrowley at 11:58 PM
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