"I've shaved many men." - Oct '07 to Feb '08
"I don't think my physician would advise that." -Spam
"Oh, he'll give you penicillin." - me
"There are some things penicillin doesn't cure." -Spam
"Babies." -Alison
"Alligator clips? F--K alligator clips!" -Alison
"Women fart, I've seen it." -Spam
"This next one's a love song." -guy at Limerick
"I call it 'Belch In Your Face'." -Kestner
"Oooooh, I want to see Jesus!" -Mere
"I want to disembowel someone." -Toby
"Did I tell you how much Molly liked syphilis?" - KatieM
"I'm kinda sad that I probably won't get to dress like a woman in the next place that I work at." - Texas Matt
"If Enrique's gay, I don't want to be straight." -Mikey
"The two lesbians are coming to your wedding?" -Mikey
"Yeah." -KatieC
"Cool!"
"You look nicer on the Nintendo than you do in real life. Like, the mischievious look in your eyes doesn't come through." -Erin
"I put it in my mouth first... and then I swallowed." -Courtney drinking champagne
"Oh, she's not answering her phone. What a whore." -KatieM
"Why do you have a giant thing on the end of your thing?" -Erin
"Because he's a giant nerd and put the rubber thing on." -Snow
...
"It makes it look a lot bigger." -Erin
"We weren't NOT talking. We just weren't talking." -KatieM
"Why wouldn't you want to show off your butt while golfing?" -Erin
"You played the cello?" -Snow
"Yeah." -Courtney
"No you didn't."
"I ROCKED the goddamn cello!"
"Oh, keep that sucking motion, Crowley." -Erin
"God, I'm very slow." -KatieM
"My whining is more effective than yours. Suck it!" -Erin to Chris
"It's so weird not to be hungover right now." -Erin
"This is like the Who-ville of dorkdom." -KmV
"Ew, Chad Henne just spit in high-def." -Erin
Green: i want a wealthy old british uncle who will call me his little crumpet
Green: or pet. i love being called "pet"
Green: the kiwi dude i made the knife with called me pet, it was great
Teresa: did 'the woman' make an appearance
Teresa: dang it all... her name's kate? it that right? you say 'the woman' so much i forget!
"I TOLD you it was making funny noises last time! Nobody believed me!" -Emily
"That's 'cause you were high." -me
"...so?"
"Up 'til about ten, about seventy percent of my toys were stolen." -Bhuan
"I just want to lick that whole thing up, and then I'll be sick all night." -Claire
"I live my life like an unabashed sausage eater, making my way through the winter season..." -Will M.
"I forgot Katie did Observer stuff too. She's kind of an overall badass, if you think about it." -Sean
"She's a sassy little bitch." -Kathy about her grandmother
"What do you have to major in to organize dance parties?" -Mac
"German." -Kathy K.
"I think it's funny that you say Aw skeet skeet motherf-er." -me
"What else would I say?" -Molly
"...cardiocentesis?" -me
"No, skeet skeet motherf-er is MUCH more fun!"
"Lalala, we love each other, DRINK! We'll talk about this later." -Molly
"How could you not f-ing pole vault? It's physics, you idiot!" -Little Chuk
"You know the livestock pens at the ____ fair? You know how they have those big barns? Imagine fifteen barns full of drunk Germans. That's Oktoberfest." -Cousin Dean
"I look deranged but elegant." -Irena
"He's kind of like Cinderella, but for chili." -Curtis abt Dane
"That's a great Nalgene bottle." -Kemp
"Thanks, it matches my thong." -Scott
"I need some meat in my mouth, I'm just gonna throw that out there." -Ryan
"I guess once you see donkey dick, it all goes downhill." -Kestner
T: breastfeeding is like having a tapeworm
T: it's soooo crazy
T: i eat and eat and eat, and i gain NOTHING
T: i'm going to be in trouble when i have to start maintaining a normal diet again someday ;-)
"I'd like to forget MY decade of shittiness." -Lynn
"I'm not kissing you until you stop the pedophile talk." -KatieM
"I'm a girl. I'm a cute girl, too! You can't hit a cute girl. It's like messing up a work of art." -Gina
"Hey Shuo, can I borrow your camera?" -me
"I have a blowfish face!" -Gina
Mom: danny,
Mom: danny,
Mom: do u know you have offended two major groups of people with your quotes?
"Do I need to start shaving guys, is that the gist of this conversation?" - Lynn
"I don't know, I've got nothing against it." -Alison
"I'm still pretty sure it's better than no sex, because from a girl's perspective you still get to cuddle." - Alison's take on bad sex
"Can you assign scores based on golf?" -Lee
"I would be batting a thousand." -other student
"...in golf?"
"So if we come to take the 'voluntary exercise,' we don't have to take the final?" -student
"Yes, and if one of you RATS ON ME, the deal is off." -Cassiano
"You've got a laptop? Bring it up here!" -Cassiano
"Hold on, I've got to close out the porn." -student
"No, that's ok."
"Some of them were drunk assholes, but I'd rather hang out with drunk assholes than, um... sissyboys." -KatieM
"You do NOT HAVE the white man's burden." -Kat
TEXT MESSAGES
"Alas, poor beer. i knew him, Horatio.
Just kidding, still know him. just wanted to quote shakespeare when drunk." -Green
"Nothing is rotten in the state of Green."-me
"To be drunk or not to be drunk. Not so much a question." -Green
"Whether 'tis nobler to suffer the beers and wines of outrageous boozing, or take shots against a sea of sobriety and by opposing end it..." -me
"A buzz! A very palpable buzz!" -Green
"Get thee to a brewery?" -me
"The drink's the thing, wherein i'll catch the conscience of the idiot."
"This above all, to thine own self give booze." -me
"Neither a moocher nor a puker be.
and from chrissie: my blood liquorhol level are high."
-For context, she was out at a bar - I was home, so I had references to cheat with.
"I'm better looking and you'd better love me." -KatieM
"Yeah well we took a vote and no one wants to watch the band step off tom. Hank says he'll pay 4 my wedding. He can be new dad." -Katie to Dad
"Rob is here with Molly and I. He is afraid of me. I am proud." -KatieM
"ps i got hit by a car today. happy friday! a. exhausted am treating condition with beer!" -Green
"You're so supportive... Are you drunk?" - KatieM
"I look scary and sexy all at the same time." -KatieM
"chrissie: where's a deer? i want to punch it in the face. i could totally win.
mike: doedally win." -Green
"what is going on sassy pants?" -SusanT
"Just woke up. Forgot to tell you I missed you. That and I dreamt [her dog] was talking to me about Santa's reindeer. But mostly I just miss you." -KatieM
"I am disabled. Communicate with me!" -Snow
"November." - me ( = No or negative)
"Zulu." -Erin (I require a tug.)
"Uniform." -me (You are running into danger.)
"Tkele-cho-g." -Erin (Jackass.)
"Uh... vade retro satana!" (Get behind me, Satan)
"So drunk. Miss you so much." -KatieM, 1:53am
"If you're still up, I love you so much. You have no idea." -KatieM, 3:35am
"I feel like ass." -KatieM, 10:55am
"From Chris: If you want to hear muppets cuss, put on Sesame Street and I'll say f--- a lot." -KatieM
"Oh, he'll give you penicillin." - me
"There are some things penicillin doesn't cure." -Spam
"Babies." -Alison
"Alligator clips? F--K alligator clips!" -Alison
"Women fart, I've seen it." -Spam
"This next one's a love song." -guy at Limerick
"I call it 'Belch In Your Face'." -Kestner
"Oooooh, I want to see Jesus!" -Mere
"I want to disembowel someone." -Toby
"Did I tell you how much Molly liked syphilis?" - KatieM
"I'm kinda sad that I probably won't get to dress like a woman in the next place that I work at." - Texas Matt
"If Enrique's gay, I don't want to be straight." -Mikey
"The two lesbians are coming to your wedding?" -Mikey
"Yeah." -KatieC
"Cool!"
"You look nicer on the Nintendo than you do in real life. Like, the mischievious look in your eyes doesn't come through." -Erin
"I put it in my mouth first... and then I swallowed." -Courtney drinking champagne
"Oh, she's not answering her phone. What a whore." -KatieM
"Why do you have a giant thing on the end of your thing?" -Erin
"Because he's a giant nerd and put the rubber thing on." -Snow
...
"It makes it look a lot bigger." -Erin
"We weren't NOT talking. We just weren't talking." -KatieM
"Why wouldn't you want to show off your butt while golfing?" -Erin
"You played the cello?" -Snow
"Yeah." -Courtney
"No you didn't."
"I ROCKED the goddamn cello!"
"Oh, keep that sucking motion, Crowley." -Erin
"God, I'm very slow." -KatieM
"My whining is more effective than yours. Suck it!" -Erin to Chris
"It's so weird not to be hungover right now." -Erin
"This is like the Who-ville of dorkdom." -KmV
"Ew, Chad Henne just spit in high-def." -Erin
Green: i want a wealthy old british uncle who will call me his little crumpet
Green: or pet. i love being called "pet"
Green: the kiwi dude i made the knife with called me pet, it was great
Teresa: did 'the woman' make an appearance
Teresa: dang it all... her name's kate? it that right? you say 'the woman' so much i forget!
"I TOLD you it was making funny noises last time! Nobody believed me!" -Emily
"That's 'cause you were high." -me
"...so?"
"Up 'til about ten, about seventy percent of my toys were stolen." -Bhuan
"I just want to lick that whole thing up, and then I'll be sick all night." -Claire
"I live my life like an unabashed sausage eater, making my way through the winter season..." -Will M.
"I forgot Katie did Observer stuff too. She's kind of an overall badass, if you think about it." -Sean
"She's a sassy little bitch." -Kathy about her grandmother
"What do you have to major in to organize dance parties?" -Mac
"German." -Kathy K.
"I think it's funny that you say Aw skeet skeet motherf-er." -me
"What else would I say?" -Molly
"...cardiocentesis?" -me
"No, skeet skeet motherf-er is MUCH more fun!"
"Lalala, we love each other, DRINK! We'll talk about this later." -Molly
"How could you not f-ing pole vault? It's physics, you idiot!" -Little Chuk
"You know the livestock pens at the ____ fair? You know how they have those big barns? Imagine fifteen barns full of drunk Germans. That's Oktoberfest." -Cousin Dean
"I look deranged but elegant." -Irena
"He's kind of like Cinderella, but for chili." -Curtis abt Dane
"That's a great Nalgene bottle." -Kemp
"Thanks, it matches my thong." -Scott
"I need some meat in my mouth, I'm just gonna throw that out there." -Ryan
"I guess once you see donkey dick, it all goes downhill." -Kestner
T: breastfeeding is like having a tapeworm
T: it's soooo crazy
T: i eat and eat and eat, and i gain NOTHING
T: i'm going to be in trouble when i have to start maintaining a normal diet again someday ;-)
"I'd like to forget MY decade of shittiness." -Lynn
"I'm not kissing you until you stop the pedophile talk." -KatieM
"I'm a girl. I'm a cute girl, too! You can't hit a cute girl. It's like messing up a work of art." -Gina
"Hey Shuo, can I borrow your camera?" -me
"I have a blowfish face!" -Gina
Mom: danny,
Mom: danny,
Mom: do u know you have offended two major groups of people with your quotes?
"Do I need to start shaving guys, is that the gist of this conversation?" - Lynn
"I don't know, I've got nothing against it." -Alison
"I'm still pretty sure it's better than no sex, because from a girl's perspective you still get to cuddle." - Alison's take on bad sex
"Can you assign scores based on golf?" -Lee
"I would be batting a thousand." -other student
"...in golf?"
"So if we come to take the 'voluntary exercise,' we don't have to take the final?" -student
"Yes, and if one of you RATS ON ME, the deal is off." -Cassiano
"You've got a laptop? Bring it up here!" -Cassiano
"Hold on, I've got to close out the porn." -student
"No, that's ok."
"Some of them were drunk assholes, but I'd rather hang out with drunk assholes than, um... sissyboys." -KatieM
"You do NOT HAVE the white man's burden." -Kat
TEXT MESSAGES
"Alas, poor beer. i knew him, Horatio.
Just kidding, still know him. just wanted to quote shakespeare when drunk." -Green
"Nothing is rotten in the state of Green."-me
"To be drunk or not to be drunk. Not so much a question." -Green
"Whether 'tis nobler to suffer the beers and wines of outrageous boozing, or take shots against a sea of sobriety and by opposing end it..." -me
"A buzz! A very palpable buzz!" -Green
"Get thee to a brewery?" -me
"The drink's the thing, wherein i'll catch the conscience of the idiot."
"This above all, to thine own self give booze." -me
"Neither a moocher nor a puker be.
and from chrissie: my blood liquorhol level are high."
-For context, she was out at a bar - I was home, so I had references to cheat with.
"I'm better looking and you'd better love me." -KatieM
"Yeah well we took a vote and no one wants to watch the band step off tom. Hank says he'll pay 4 my wedding. He can be new dad." -Katie to Dad
"Rob is here with Molly and I. He is afraid of me. I am proud." -KatieM
"ps i got hit by a car today. happy friday! a. exhausted am treating condition with beer!" -Green
"You're so supportive... Are you drunk?" - KatieM
"I look scary and sexy all at the same time." -KatieM
"chrissie: where's a deer? i want to punch it in the face. i could totally win.
mike: doedally win." -Green
"what is going on sassy pants?" -SusanT
"Just woke up. Forgot to tell you I missed you. That and I dreamt [her dog] was talking to me about Santa's reindeer. But mostly I just miss you." -KatieM
"I am disabled. Communicate with me!" -Snow
"November." - me ( = No or negative)
"Zulu." -Erin (I require a tug.)
"Uniform." -me (You are running into danger.)
"Tkele-cho-g." -Erin (Jackass.)
"Uh... vade retro satana!" (Get behind me, Satan)
"So drunk. Miss you so much." -KatieM, 1:53am
"If you're still up, I love you so much. You have no idea." -KatieM, 3:35am
"I feel like ass." -KatieM, 10:55am
"From Chris: If you want to hear muppets cuss, put on Sesame Street and I'll say f--- a lot." -KatieM
posted by DCrowley at 6:52 AM
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