"Wrestling means sex!" - New Years 05-06

"Booter, guess what's in the oven, have you heard?" -Erin
"A bun?" -Sean
Erin kicks him.

"Would you like me to open my mouth and show you what I'm eating?" -Snow

"My brother got this game called Shadow of the Hedgehog. It's pretty cool. It's like... you're a hedgehog." -Sean

"Can you make a list of what we can and cannot do with your sister?" -Sean

"Crowley, you want to help me tap this?" -Jeff

"Booter, why are you exuding fuzzies?" -Erin

"Why would you eat a big red candle?! It makes no sense!" -Erin

"I love the penii." -Erin

"It... exacerbates the situation." -Booter
"You had to think about that one, didn't you, bitch?" -Snow
"No, I had to not burp like a Mongol."

"You just head-butted my boob!" -Erin

"I had to take care of thirty chickens, fuckers." -Steph

"So the father left Emergency Chicken instructions." -Steph

"I just dropped turkey down my bra. It was delicious. It was, try it!" -Erin

"I have freakishly strong hands." -Steph

"You jumped on him, straddled..." -EPrime

"You go shower, hon. And you go shower, sis. I'm gonna stay here and fart in front of Booter." -Snow

"Danke schon." -me
"Is it strange that I thought you just said donkeyshit?" -Snow

Sean said "Snow, can I have some assistance?"
Snow heard "Snow, can I have your sister?"

"Oh, that's Booter's flabby boob. I just had turkey dribbled on me." -Erin

"Booter's magic penis won't reach across the bed!" -Erin

"I'm gonna go spoon with Booter and see if he wakes up." -Erin

"Crowley, I thought that was you snoring." -Booter
"You thought what was me snoring?" -me
"The chainsaw outside."

"Hey, twenty-nine inches. Beat it." -Booter

"Don't say doing your wife, don't say doing your wife..." -Snow
"Doing your sister?" -me
"Screw them all." -EPrime

"Except I'm not married to my brother, cause that'd be weird." -EPrime

"Get a little head with that, Booter." -Erin
"It's hard!" -Sean

"You're pinking today." -Sean to Erins

"Stop stealing my bits!" -Snow
"Stop stealing Dick Van Dyke's bits!" -Sean

"That was the hardest tickle I ever had in my entire life." -Booter
"I wasn't tickling." -Snow

"What do you have when you have nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you have when you have nuts on your chin?" -Booter
"Chin nuts?"
"You got a dick in your mouth." -Booter
"Booter, let's cuddle!" -Erin

"Booter, don't ever bend over in front of me!" -Erin

About Rocky Horror Picture Show
"You're a virgin! They ostracize you people!" -Steph

"I hate Riley." -Steph
"Why do you hate Riley?"
"He's just such a pussy."

"Bad Booter! Suck it, suck it!" -Erin
"It won't go down!" -Sean

"Crowley, we know you're big and obstructive. Now move." -Snow

Erin helps Steph write emails to ditch work after the Buffy power-hour
"Double exclamation marks make you sound too perky." -Erin
later
"I called out sick! Fuck!" -Steph

"Get me some beer, bitches!" -Steph

"What, what? I did a candle? I would've onle done a candle once, first of all." -Erin

"You know what's annoying, is that Crowley never writes down the stupid shit HE says." -Erin

"So your brother's penis goes into her cooch." -Sean
"Oh my god." -EPrime

Sean spits a little on the table
"He just hocked on the table." -Erin
"He just loogied up your lacquer." -me

"My bottom hurts, because of the pole!" -Erin on the couch

"We got them poker chips, the least they could do is get us some whores." -Booter

"You know I hate head!" -Erin

"We're at your whim." -Booter
"Alright, bend over." -Erin

"Swooomp... that's the sound a schism makes." -Sean

Erin slaps Sean so hard in the ass that he falls down
"Ow, balls, that hurt!" -Sean
"Balls? Where?" -Snow
"On my back."

"Man, that was a hell of a slap, Erin!" -Sean
"My hand kinda hurts." -Erin

"I drank grape juice instead." -Booter
"You drank what?" -Snow
"Grape juice."
"You mean wine?"
"Oh, yeah."

"I'm straddling Booter! He's pulling me down on top of him!" -Erin
"Alright, knock it off, you're getting too close to the TV!" -Snow

"To Jeff's small penis!" -Courtney, the first toast of New Years

"Jeff, I broke our computer with a virus!" -Courtney
"Crowley, I have herpes!" -Sean

"Ew, I just got spittle in my eyeball." -Erin

"I'm dressing up like a crazy whore. It's my crazy-whore dress from college." -Courtney

"Get a shot, we'll do it on the dance floor, we'll make out. Oh, with other people." -Sean

"I want to be easy, I'm gonna drink these." -Erin

Didn't personally witness this on the way out of the party, but I couldn't leave it out
"Booter, you should leave your drink inside." -Erin
"Who are you sleeping with tonight?" -Sean
"...Jeff?"
"EXACTLY!"
Booter holds onto his drink.

"We are, we're tidy booters." -Sean

"The banana whetted my appetite, now can you bring me something else that's delicious?" -Erin

"Snow, can you come back in a minute?" -me
"Crowley, can you eat my ass?" -Snow
"Only after he eats his banana!" -Erin

"Ow, oh my god! You just shocked my ass like eight times!" -Erin

"Poor little Max has been through a lot this weekend, his little horn no longer goes up." -Erin

"Oh, and we've gotta watch Christmas Vacation." -me
"And play that... sex game." -EPrime

Playing -Battle of the Sexes-
"Oooh, I've become more effeminate, maybe that'll help." -Sean

"You told me about that game, where you could kill, marry, or fuck 'em." -Erin

"Have you heard about the guy who does that comic, but he can't draw so he uses clip art?' -Erin
"Are you talking about your husband?" -me
"This guy is really funny though."

"Oh shit, damn, balls, fuck, let's go." -Erin

"But you weren't on top of me and Jeff senior year, you were only on top of us junior year. Senior year you were on top of Erin2 and Crowley..." -Erin

"Snow, why am I about to fellate you?" -Sean

"So how do you win?" -Sean
"You fuck all the right people." -Erin
"There's no fucking!" -EPrime
"Shit!" -Erin

"We had a discussion about this, that Beverly D'Angelo is like the only older woman that people would... that people feel attracted to." -Sean

"Kill marry fuck!" -Sean
"It's so much fun!" -Erin

"They have the instructions for the actual World-Wide-Fucking? Booter, you bring out the dirty side of me." -Erin

"Why in the world would you fuck Loni Anderson?" -Erin to Snow

"I think I'd kick the shit out of her if she was my sibling." -Erin on Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz

"I thought you'd totally f--- the shit out of Bob Barker, he's so virile." -Sean

"I nailed you, Erin." -Me

"I f---ed Lillith, but that's it." -Erin

"I don't know enough about her to get behind her." -me

"I like Fran Drescher, I like her accent." -Sean
"ACCENT?" -me

"Oh, that's the meniscus." -me
"That sounds like a menorah, but dirty." -Erin


After the weekend:
"Your quotes from this year used the f-word a lot more." -Ashley

"I'm gonna pray for you, that you're not the devil." - October '05 to December '05

"You guys are like the Spartans here." -Doc
"What does that mean?" -Pat
"Work... exercise... pretty soon you're gonna be running naked out there."

"I just want to stab him so vigorously the knife would catch fire." -Bhuan

"He could probably eat his own shit and still be famous." -Gina (about Tom Cruise?)

"De-virginized!" -Kristin

"I know that you're no match for my squirminess." -Diane

"Mrs. Donnelly says we all have big heads because we have to fit so much brains in there." -Mom
"I don't have a big head." -my sister
Nobody responds.

"I don't want to see the penis, I just want to see the rest." -Cindy

"They're all gonna have an orgy now. Ew, no, don't touch me!" -Carrie

"Screw you!" -me
"Screw me all you want." -Green

"ROMANKIEWICZ!" -Green

"Your brother and I tend to float to the same kind of people. You? Guido-fest down the road." -Carrie

"By the way, I want you to know, I decided you're not the devil so I won't call you that." -Diane

"I'm putting my hat back on." -Ben P.
"Don't do it, you'll look like a penis!" -Leah

"Imagine if mutants actually had cool powers... instead of, like, Downs Syndrome." -Ben (quoted by Ryan)

"Yeah, I suck." -Diane
I laugh.
"NOT in any way that would benefit you..."

"I also just always hated stuffing things into my ears." -Diane

"By hanging out with her, it reminds me to keep my own vices in check." -Diane about her friend Charity

"Make bond while adhesive is aggressively tacky." -spray mount instructions

"So management, huh?" -me teasing a girl playing a drinking game
"No, I'm smart, I'm just drunk." -Ann

"I'm gonna pray for you, that you're not the devil." -Diane

kat: you're not the devil
kat: you're evil, but not the devil
kat: maybe a minion

"Go spoon the anus of the turkey." -Kristin

"Fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck." -Kristin

"If I don't neet to use her, I can pass her to you." -Sean abt Hughes as a New Years' date

"I smack her around all the time." -Mike B.
"You're the only one who can smack me around." -Kristin

"When all else fails, use your mouth." -Gina

"How can you tell she's a slut?" -Gina
"It's a matter of open-mind-edness." -me
"Open-something-else-edness." -Ryan

Talking about Thanksgiving preparations
"How many people are going?" -Mom
"No clue." -me
"How many are girls?"
"No clue."
"Because they don't eat the potatoes, because of the carbs."
"Really? That's dumb."
"I know."

"First rule of papal conclave: do not talk about papal conclave." -Spam

"Dan, I think your stick's getting curvy." -Spam

"You got a haircut, didn't you? Your head looks smaller."
later
"You're like a Chia." -Gina

"Pack those bags, get things started, get ready to get drunk 'cause it's your turn to go down this year, big boy, and that's gonna be a mission." -Snow's voicemail about New Years' plans

"Why are vectors and tensors so important? Why are we washing your brain with this nonsense?"
and
"This operation is a sin against tensor analysis." -Dr. Bauchau

"If it was me, I'd run her off the road, but I'm a crockpot of testosterone." -Bhuan

"You're trying to have a moment over my back, over my shoulder." -Marco

"I tried to kick the donkey, but the donkey was smarter than me and got away." -Snow describing his honeymoon

"PS- I'm still in detox, and I'm not allowed to drink anymore unless I can learn not to fall down." -text from Erin, post-LA

"When it comes down to it, we were always hammered." -best relationship epitaph ever

kat: ok, well it overflowed and spit out and I... nevermind

kat: given the choice, backer or sex (guaranteed safe and midget free), what would you pick?

"Violence is not the answer." -Jonathan
"Vionence is an answer..." -Brandon

"You just got poked, didn't you?" -me
"Really hard! It hurt!" -Lindsay

"I'm pretty sure Mexico City style is when you hit somebody until candy comes out of them." -Bhuan

"You licked me! And not in a good place!" -Ryan to Amy

"Doc said to me, I hear you're drunk, and I said yes, yes I am." -Erin M.

"I hear you made her cry." -me
"Oh-ho-ho!" -Doc
"And then he told me I couldn't get pregnant." -Erin M.

"When you go to grad school, you're just another brain on a stick." -Jorge Cham

bhuan: we indians have perfected the whole breeding profusely thing

kat: especially if you spent 5 of those hours chasing after a midget