"So what are you doing tonight?" - Washington DC, Oct. 21-23

text from Booter:
One more day until operation: annihilate liver. oh, and snow and erin getting hitched happens sometime too

"And then I can do your thingy that you did to me." -Sean

"I've got about eight bottles of Grey Goose on my shelf at home." -Tom
"F--- you!" -Eric

Eric looking at quotes I'd saved:
"You even wrote down the time of day?!" -Eric
"Those are my flights." -me

"Oh Jeff, take my pants off. I want to straddle you and make your beaver my face." -Borden

"I went to public school." -Jeff
"And look where it got you." -me
"Married." -Sean

"My mind is in the gutter. I saw Moby Dick and I started laughing." -Sean
"On the children's menu?!" -me
later, after the girls had arrived
"Why are you laughing?" -Sean
"I just looked at the children's menu again." -me
"Oh, is there anything good on there?" -Ashley
nobody replies, but all the guys laugh

"People don't put nuts in soup." -Sean

"Oral exams are hard." -Ashley
"It's a lot of pressure!" -ESnow

"Aw, dude, it's that stuff that you can't eat!" -Sean about dessicants

"The dog likes it in the can, I know this." -Borden

Borden relays his voicemails:
"The dog looks like it's going to-"
"The dog just shit on the bathmat."
"The dog just shit on the carpet and I think it has diarrhea."
"What the hell have you been feeding the dog?"

"...'cause every time I bend over I get something poking me in the back." -Erin
"Write that down!" -Eric
"I said back, not butt!" -Erin

"Crowley, give her a Moby Dick right now." -Eric

"Ok guys, in two minutes we'll be going into the other room, and all the bars in there won't open until 8." -Tom addressing the room
"Ooooooooh." -Booter, clearly audible

"Something about women - southern girls just don't like having their anuses referred to as turd-cutters." -Borden

"I felt like a pregnant hooker in that dress." -Lauren
"I know, you looked like a pregnant hooker too." -Anne

"I play both sides. I give him ideas and you weapons." -me
"Thank you, f-ing Reagan." -Booter

"Yeah, but I didn't drink out of the coffee pot." -Snow
"You drank out of the coffee pot." -me
"Did I? F-." -Snow

"That's the kind of woman you can't piss on." -Borden

"There were those pyramid things that serve some sort of... function." -Ashley
"I'm pretty sure they're skylights." -Erin
"When you're drunk it looks like Egypt."

"C'mon, you don't look at Jeter and think, Muppet?" - August '05 to October '05

"Have I mentioned that you're evil?" -me
"I'm not evil! I'm doing guerilla warfare for God!" -Diane

"The American way is a nice, paved path to hell in many ways." -Diane

kat: dan=evil
me: not news

texts from my sister:
"they moved the pep rally to the stadium. Bruce or jon is coming"
"Who are bruce and jon?" -me
"Bruce springsteen and bon jovi. Did you grow up in nj or what?"

"Are you insinuating that you want to have sex with our fire?" -Ryan
"I... am now." -Bhuan

Nick sticks a marshmallow in Lindsay's face:
"Gaaah! I would've bit it, and then you would've been sad." -Lindsay

"Man, I shouldn't have crossed another gorge of death." -Lindsay

"Ryan, don't... you make me all sweaty." -Lindsay

"Just stick your finger in there and pull something out and eat it." -Joe
"Heard that before." -Bhuan

talking about a "RoboRaptor" toy:
"I bet if you could go back in time a hundred years, you could sell that for like a billion dollars." -Ben

setting up tents:
"Ben, pole me." -Jeff
"What?" -Ben

talking about "alien-made" crop circles
"If you could fly through space, I don't think carving through rock would be so hard." -Ryan
"Maybe they don't have rock on their planet." -Lindsay

"We need like the reverse of an eclipse, when the sun comes out at night." -Ben

"No, I'm a tree-hugger, I'll save trees... I just don't want them around me, I'm a city girl." -Gina

"We were talking about sex for a while and then you started talking about Sam's Club." Kat

"We'll search hooker and see what comes up." -Kat

kat: I love running code and drinking simultaneously

talking about post-wedding-reception plans:
me: you can have sex whenever you want, but how often can you go to the Backer?
kat: point taken

"I wanna know where the bitterness comes from." -Diane's friend Eric
"The bitterness comes from having lots of people yell at me." -Diane

"It looks like a sub. You would put the meat and cheese through that axis."
and
"I myself didn't know that twenty minutes ago, but hey!" -Dr. Feron

kat: I feel all floaty
kat: cheers to beer

"Who would win in a fight, a cow or a cow's weight in chickens?" -Mark

kat: I think we all know I'm a bad influence
kat: and proud of it

"I was a very religious person who also loved to go to bars... so I felt really at home at Notre Dame." -Diane

"The downside of having friends pregnant third year is that they had been my Backer-buddies, and the Backer is not a pregnant-friendly location." -Diane

sean: look at you you big smoothie!
me: yeah, don Juan deCrowley

"I don't give it away for free, I charge money!" -Kat
"You know you just called yourself a hooker, yeah?" -me
"I know."

"You haven't heard my sound effects!" -Kat
"I've heard some of the sound effects." -me
"Nooooooo, you haven't heard the FUN ones!"

kat: and yet I didn't give up and become a lesbian
kat: so cheers to me

"Dude, this is state school territory." -Tony
"You know what that means!" -Prisbell
"Lesbians! Whooooooo!"

"Ryan, will you eat this?" -Lindsay
"You really want me to lick that off you?" -Ryan, who does so
"...oh, he's good." -Lindsay

setting cups rules:
"What are we playing to?" -Gina
"We're playing to retarded." -Lauren

pouring carbombs, Shuo has Guinness left over:
"Well, I don't want to waste all this..."
pauses, then pounds the rest.

"Do you want me to tie a bow?" -Gina
"No, I don't like bows." -Vanessa
"God doesn't like bows." -Marco
"Your mom doesn't like bows." -Gina
"My mom's almost like God. I like my mom." -Marco

"It's not size that matters. It's not! Well... sometimes. But not in intelligence!" -Gina

"Brock would make a good Blowfish." -Gina, after Vanessa thought Sean's nickname was "Hootie"

"Jesus and I are tight, f---er." -Ehren

"Vanessa, you shouldn't be undressing 'nando. His girlfriend is right downstairs." -me
"Oh, I'm sorry. Let's zip him back up." -Vanessa

"Is that a Zahm thing?" -Gina
"What?" -me
"The humping."

"And trust me, bullets are faster than monkeys." -Hernando

"We should get into a big pocket of urine." -Bhuan

"Are you stripping, Shuo?" -Murph
"Do you want me to?" -Shuo

"Don't make me come over there and pinch your nipples." -Bryan

kat: we're still engaging in cross-country-drinking
kat: or at least cross-mason-dixon-line-drinking
kat: damn rebel
me: dirty yankee

"I'm waving a little flag of awesomeness." -Kat

"We should go to a bar." -Ryan
"Spencer's still coming." -Ehren
"We did say pre-party at nine." -Ryan
"You can't say pre-party at nine to the ethnical." -Gina

"I think she's an alien and she has a baby growing in her forehead." -Mark on Reese Witherspoon

"Just go through and touch your own sections, or touch another person's sections if you want to..." -Rebecca

"I'm gonna use that... now, down here, or up there?" -Bryan
"Not down there! Definitely up there!" -Marco
and after I double-checked the quote:
"I could change my orientation, though." -Bryan

"I just have a question about an area of Atlanta, um... It's just east of Georgia Tech, it seems like there's a... It might be a heavily gay community... and I just wanted your opinion on it." -Adam

"Alright, you listen you jackass. I know you're on the other line. I know you're there, now pick up the friggin' phone, I'm calling you, alright? I'm calling you, why the hell aren't you picking up the goddamn phone? Friggin' son of a bitch. Oh, happy birthday!" -Snow's birthday voicemail to me

discussing the streetwalkers around Spencer's apt:
"Where are the straight prostitutes?" -Spam

"Pressure and friction? That's how you like it?" -Rebecca on aerodynamic drag

"If you don't like that, you can write down an argument with factorials... that nobody will bother reading." -Dr. Andrew

"I found one bad boy, I don't have to look for any others, right?" -Dr. Andrew

"Ok, let me put it this way: no." -Dr. Marchenkov

"Usually you sound like Dan. This time you sounded like Irish Dan... like from Ireland." -Kristin

considering growing his hair long:
"I'll look like a brunette Legolas." -Mike B.

"If you had a monkey, I'd run it over with my car. Then I'd cook it on a spit and eat it in front of you." -Ryan

"You have to learn how to twist the math to keep your logic correct and your mind intact." -Marchenkov on Quantum

from Snow:
(while looking at a dessert menu)
"Hey, Turkish Delight!" -Snow
"Hehehe... turkish delight. Is that dirty?" -Erin
"No."
"It sounds like it should be. Like Karma Sutra position #64: Turkish Delight."

"He's my latin lover. Well, he's not really latin." -Rebecca

"Will you play with me?" -Cindy



Text messages:

Sean:
Flagrant system error. power hour over. booter equals very disappointed. sorry brothers

Erin:
Have fun this weekend! Remember don't do anything that will get you un-invited to new years! hehe.

Snow:
Ps erin was really confused as to why you would eat a big red candle

Ronnie:
I taught for a week... I don't want to have a baby anymore!

Katie (before the USC game):
So this usc fan came in the airport bar and belch and i made fun of him and he got mad and left. it begins.